Funny Boat Quotes
Funny Boat Quotes
You already know volumes about Mark Twain, the pen name used by Samuel Langhorne Clemens. He’s the humorist’s humorist, the cynic’s cynic, the writer’s writer. A fierce and hilarious chronicler of life, its many characters and their foibles, his quotations are stick-to-your-brains observations that have become timeless inspirations.
Even the story behind one of the most famous pen names in literary history is enlightening: “mark twain” was Mississippi River slang for measuring the depth of water under the keel of a boat. And as we all know, Samuel “Mark Twain” Clemens was a well-known fancier of all things having to do with his beloved Mississippi, having grown up on the River in Hannibal, MO. He even became a steamboat pilot until the Civil War curtailed riverboat traffic in 1861.
Now for the quotes. They seem as ageless as ever:
1. “A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.” It’s as if Twain is alive and well today while observing our current sad state of economic affairs.
2. “Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.” Twain had an astounding way with cynical yet humorous observations about politics. This could have just as easily been said of today’s world of politics and our fascination with statistics, especially on ways to manipulate them.
3. “Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.” Often, isn’t that all we have left? If you can’t laugh in the worst of times, one of your key survival tools is desperately missing. Laughter isn’t the best medicine for nothing.
4. “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” This is no knock on educations, but rather, acknowledgment that education happens everywhere, whether in a formal classroom, or in the greater classroom of lifetime experiences.
5. “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.” I am laughing out loud as I read this. We wish this were not the case, but all too often it is. We read and hear about it everyday in the news, don’t we?
6. “If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” And, when you don’t practice this Twain mantra, you always come to regret it. If Mark Twain lived long enough to experience the Internet, he’d know that this quotation is truer by the instant.
7. “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” I prove the validity of this statement on a daily basis. Maybe I need to recite it to myself before I ever say anything. Grand words to live by.
8. “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” More people than I can count live by this credo. I try not to, but it’s always there when needed.
9. “Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” If only Twain could see what has transpired in the years since he has left us. He would not be surprised except by the total enormity of idiocy these days.
10. “Faith is believing what you know ain’t so.” Twain was such a cynic. And, being as though we are in perhaps one of the most cynical times in the History of The United States of America, his thought-provoking observations are as powerful today as they’ve ever been.
11. “If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.” Never one to shy away from controversy, this irreverent Twain quotation is fearless. It’s as relevant in this day an age as it was in his.
Mark Twain will forever remain one of the heavyweight stalwarts in American literature. Fellow American literary giant and Nobel Prize winner, William Faulkner called him “The father of American literature.”
About the Author:
Grant Brad Gerver is an entrepreneur and creative consultant for Filibi.com: Free Online Classified Advertising and Printable Coupons with a 70% twist. Come post your free filibi ads today. “Gerv” is also a YouTube (gbgerver) blues singer-songwriter and guitar player who performs with The Buzzard Brothers. He’s a retired elementary school teacher who works in the mental health care field.
Rate,Hate this verse?
We devils – rockin ambient levels
We set loose among hot tunes to instrumentals
And cats got one-liners, I drop several
And I think it’s funny you choose, losin progress
or runnin in place; we makin moves, and y’all settle
I rip rappers and take responsibility
for makin future hall-of-famers look third rate
Y’all are lost for words like conversation on your worst first date
and ride beats, creep through side streets
Looseleaf notepads that’s where rhymes leak
Punchlines – man, don’t even beg
I got knee-slappin tracks, y’all brusin your leg
You a rhyme writer – funny man, that’s a joke
You ain’t worthy of bein my secretary man that’s a quote
I flood tracks like cracks in boats
And pvssy rappers choked up with they own lines in they throat
great lyrics
10/10 on wordplay
not much depth in lyrics but i dont think that was wat u intended
good job
check out my raps
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